The Patience of Women

June 24, 2004

By BARBARA SOFER

Rosh Hodesh, the first of the Hebrew month, is the holiday that celebrates the patience of women. On this particular Rosh Hodesh Tammuz on Sunday, at two great symbols of the Jewish state � the Western Wall and the Supreme Court � women were called on to summon new reserves of this virtue.

According to tradition, back at Sinai the men of Israel panicked when Moses lingered on the mountain. Unable to sustain the tension of waiting, men built the Golden Calf. The women not only suggested they delay, but they refused to contribute golden earrings for the sacrilege. This wasn't a matter of possessiveness. "Later" (the biblical story doesn't have "before and after" like a traditional plot), the women's generosity was underestimated by the menfolk.

When it came time to build the Tabernacle, women were such generous donors that the Princes of Israel, who mistakenly waited to see "what was needed" were left without a significant building project. As a reward for faith and resoluteness at Mount Sinai, women received Rosh Hodesh as an eternal gift. Many of us celebrate this day as a half-holiday.

Nonetheless, it would be difficult to use the word "celebrate" to describe the events of last Rosh Hodesh in Jerusalem. The group known as the "Women of the Wall," intrepid middle-aged women who have been asking for 15 years to pray in a group and read the Torah far behind the barrier on the women's side of the Kotel, were out there again with their prayer books.

If you were under the impression that this long-standing issue had been resolved, you're partly right. After years of court battles in which their rights were granted and later revoked, the Supreme Court gave the government 12 months to prepare an alternative site at the southern Wall (Robinson's Arch). The government didn't come through. The site isn't physically accessible. The prayer group, which meets rain or shine in the early morning hours at the Kotel, quietly returned to the Western Wall as they had for 14 years. But when the women returned to the Supreme Court, the government promised that soon, very soon, they'd have a new area. Couldn't the women show a little patience?

As the Women of the Wall were singing words of praise to the Creator, across town at the Supreme Court in a silent courtroom waited RS, a devoutly religious woman who hadn't seen her 12 children for seven years. Those who haven't seen Naomi Ragen's excellent play Minyan Nashim ("A Woman's Quorum"), based on RS's story, may remember the press reports and the expectation that this infamous instance of family injustice would finally be rectified.

The courtroom was quiet because in order to build confidence, RS had agreed that the press be excluded. The Rabbinical Courts had already ruled that RS's children need to see a social worker who would begin the process of reconciliation, but nothing happened. Couldn't the Supreme Court intervene? The judge shook his head: No ruling until the religious court decides again. The justice advised RS � you guessed it � that the only solution right now was "patience." RS allowed herself a deep sigh. "All is for the good. The timing must not be right," she said, expressing the faith that has sustained her these years of isolation.

Back at the Kotel, the small group of Women of the Wall, bolstered by Jewish students from abroad, were up to the Torah reading in the service. The Women of the Wall have been so often accused of being contentious rabble-rousers that you might picture viragos wielding silver Torah pointers. In reality, they're a pretty subdued bunch who have a thing about praying in harmony.

Ironically, the faces of those who oppose them in the name of the Torah of loving-kindness were distorted with anger as they engaged in a physical struggle over the Torah scroll, assaulting the women with jeers. Afraid the Torah might be torn to shreds, the Women of the Wall didn't remove it from its case.

Supreme Court President Aharon Barak subsequently decided that a panel of nine judges needs to weigh the state's request for a delay. That, of course, might take some time.

In RS's case, the Rabbinical Courts could, if they chose, impose a daily fine and incarcerate the husband for ignoring previous court decisions. The most hopeful news is that Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger has publicly declared that he will take it upon himself to find a solution.

Issues involving women within Judaism tap deep, irrational chords. Those who don't blink when male philanderers and embezzlers bless the Torah implode with rage at a pious woman lifting high a Scroll. Judges who would normally be embarrassed to have such decisions reviewed in law schools have no compunction about making eccentric rulings about women and religion.

Patience � a virtue we women know. Those of us privileged to bring babies into the world have those nine months, capped by childbirth. Who can't remember an obstetrician responding to a long, painful labor with the advice, "Have patience"?

Hope deferred makes the heart sick � so says Proverbs. The Hebrew savlanut � "patience" � comes from the word "to suffer."

Tell me about it.